Conversation with Amrita Puri:
Acting was an unconventional choice for you. When did you think of being an actor? Ever since I remember, I have had drama in me. Whenever my mom would go out of home, I would wear her sari, posing as Sridevi in Chandni. I loved literature and realised after getting into theatre that I wanted to be an actor. My dad was a smart man and had his way of putting his ideas in my mind, making me believe that they were mine. For instance, post my graduation, he made me work with O&M as a copywriter for a year, but I was bored out of my mind and the desire to see myself on the silver screen just grew and grew and I thought I would just burst.
Did you feel let down by the lack of support from your parents for you to join the film industry?
They backed me all my life with my most stupid ideas and made me believe that I was the best thing to hit planet earth, but suddenly there was this thing that I believed the most in the world in, and I felt disappointed as nobody, not one person said 'go for it'. So I felt lost as I had always had their support in the past.
How did you keep yourself going?
I relied on myself. I used to write down my dilemmas as I did not know whether I would make it. I also did not know whether I'd have to choose between my parents and my career in films. I wanted them with me in this journey and did not want to do it against their wishes as I had been brought up with so much love and care. Even though I felt lost, confused, alone and frustrated, I could not for the sake of my career tell my parents 'to hell with you'. And am so glad I did not embark on this journey without them, as acting is a profession where you face the most rejection. When I signed Aisha it was my vindication and I knew my parents were proud of me when they saw the film.
What is your father like at home?
I am headstrong and stubborn like him, that is why I have survived. But we're like two horns of a bull at each other with my mom standing with a white flag that neither of us can see. I have the biggest arguments with my dad, but he is on my speed dial. I wish I could live life like he does. He works and comes home at 5 and is happy doing the simplest things. He does not need anyone else and has utmost belief in himself. He does not need anyone else to make him happy. He wakes up in the morning with zeal for life and new ideas ranging from which plants to put up in the balcony to ideas for the bank. He is so happy just being at home watching TV or reading or just shifting furniture around. He always lives in the moment.
What kind of advice would your dad usually give you?
I told him I had been offered a role in Aisha of a behenji with Sonam being the lead heroine. I asked him 'should I do it or not'? He read the script and told me 'you are doing this film'. He said this is fantastic, this girl has all the funny lines, is interesting and has a character to play. How can you not want to do it? It is a challenge and is an opportunity. This will make you a star. I listened to him and got appreciation for my role.
Conversation with Aditya Puri:
How did you become the head of HDFC Bank?
I am an Air Force officer's kid and did not want to be an engineer. I knew if I got high marks, my dad would have wanted me to become one. So I did B.Com from Panjab University and then did my C.A. from Delhi. My first job was with the Mahindras as a management trainee in Mumbai where I lived as a paying guest for 300 per month. I would get half a cup of tea in the morning and had to travel all the way to Kandivili for work and realised that is not why I came to Mumbai. My cousin on the other hand worked with Citibank in a AC chamdi with a butler on top of Parsi General Hospital and was sent to Beirut for training. I realised he was enjoying his life and requested him to fix my interview also at Citibank. They interviewed me and gave me a job.
I was with Citibank for 21 years during which I worked across 19 cities in the world. We were in Malaysia last when Deepak Parekh who was running HDFC's housing company at that time invited me to set up a bank in India and said to me 'tu dollars khayega kya? Itna kya kamayega'. I was CEO of Citibank in Malaysia at that time and was chosen amongst the top 50 people in Citibank globally. I told him 'if I come back and run the bank I will be passionate about it and would want no interference'. He agreed and the bank started with me and a desk with just a licence on paper. I interviewed people saying 'you will be joining the best bank in the world' sitting on a broken chair and table with renovation going on around me at our first office at Sandoz House.
Let's talk about your relationship with Deepak Parekh?
He is a thorough gentleman and a good human being and will help anybody who walks past his office. Between us we are friends. He kept his promise with me and never interfered. I used to go to him whenever I needed help or advice. Markets like rumours about me being independent and that we don't get along but that is completely untrue. We have been friends first and will always remain.
You were hesitant to allow your daughter to become an actor. How did you concede?
Amrita always studied in American schools till the age of ten when we shifted to India and I was concerned if she would be able to adjust given that she did not even know Hindi. So I sent her with my wife for three months to see if they could adjust. But to my surprise, when I returned after three months, madam opened the door and was singing Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast and was dancing away. I should have realised at that point in time. She has always been interested in literature and theatre but coming from an Army background my thinking related to gender equality was stunted. I told her while I will not stop you, I will not help you secretly hoping and knowing in my mind that she would not make it anyways. But then she got a role in Aisha. When Kai Po Che happened, I refused telling her you are stretching the envelope as Chetan Bhagat's original book has much more physicality to it. She stood on the balcony crying and told her mother that if papa is not comfortable I will not do it. I met Gattu the director of the film and he asked me to leave it to him.
And he has done it so well that at the end of the screening I picked up Gattu and threw him in the air and gave him a pappi. He has helped me break the barrier. The change in my mind came from the fact that my daughter while respecting my feelings and knowing I needed to go through a transition did it in a manner without confronting me, but systematically telling me 'I am an intelligent human being with desires in my life and will not embarrass you'. And I have to say that it has left me with a lot of respect for her and women in general. I frankly now believe they are not only equal to me but the equation is 51:49 in favour of women. I have understood that you are a joint venture with your daughter but you don't own her. At the end I apologised to her and said 'beta I had no right to subject you through this. I am sorry'.
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