But in a telling interview to TOI he spoke about "success, failure, disappointment and treachery", also throwing in some broad hints about old friendships, and where his political options lie.
First things first. How is your health now?
I have had my share of health complications. I underwent a very bad phase in 2011 when I got a kidney transplant done. And I think people don't know this, but part of my intestine was wrongly cut out during one of my hospitalisations. Which is why I have to eat in small quantities. Moreover, I have to take very strong medicines to retain whatever I eat. At one point on a flight to Dubai, I even slipped into a coma when my sugar levels dipped drastically. Doctors said I will never come out of it, but I did. I think even God is not willing to accept me. Even now, I have consistently low sugar levels.
One didn't know about all your health complexities... still, where were you for so long?
I decided to stay away from the limelight. It was a conscious decision. I had a great run from 1996 to 2009. I had many friends. After 2009, the fairweather friends got filtered out. But from the film industry, Sridevi and her husband Boney remained in frequent touch.
One day, she told me that she wanted me to see her comeback film English Vinglish. Initially I didn't think much of the film because comeback films of most senior stars haven't been exciting. But she came to Delhi with the print. Out of sheer respect for her, I saw the film. After the film ended, I was choked with emotion. I then had a small party. When she got the Padmashri, I felt she deserved a big, nice celebration.
Are you going to host more parties, like you often did in the past?
This one was just an emotional outburst. I don't have to do anything to prove myself. I am not an insatiable socialite. I have seen everything - success, failure, disappointment and treachery. Frankly, I am a disillusioned man. But let me add about the recent party that it was a celebration of Sridevi's loyalty and friendship with me, not a celebration of her alone. This woman did not change with time in my rainy days.
You clearly sound very hurt about your friendship with the Bachchans having gone sour....
I don't want to be discussed for my so called friendship with a big person. I don't want to be associated with someone else's reflected glory. Someone from their family used to say that Amar Singh gets a lot of mileage because of his association with us (Bachchans). Amitabh didn't say it; he still has some grace and dignity. If I say anything nasty,it will just spread negativity and that will make me mentally sick. I have learnt a very big lesson in life. Your friends are your friends as long as you serve their need and purpose. It is better to live life with lesser people of lesser stature - be they be a paanwallah from Dadar or a bhelwallah from Chowpatty- but they should love you for what you are and not who you are(position). Anybody's position is so mercurial.
You did a few films, here and there. Any more acting aspirations?
I grew up watching Dev Anand and Shammi Kapoor's movies. I never liked most of Amitabh's movies, except Hrishikesh Mukherji's Alaap. With both Dev and Shammi gone, I don't think I have any desire left to act, except maybe if and when Sridevi and Jaya Prada (his other loyal friend) offer a film to me.
Does Jaya Prada, who is friends with Amitabh, get caught in the crossfire?
Jaya Prada is not a friend of Amitabh's. And listen, it was Amitabh's call not to remain friends with me.
Did you question him on why he took that call?
Emotional bonding is a matter of heart. Nobody asks him why he was not close to Amjad Khan, Mehmood, Shashi Kapoor and Prakash Mehra. If he changes his clothes, style and friends from time to time and remains happy, why should that bother me?
Are you planning to return to active politics?
I am not averse to the idea of coming back. But I have become my own rival. After touching such highs, I cannot stand in a queue and ask for a job. If something comes to me gracefully, why not? And politics is not only about contesting the elections.
If any party offers you a ticket in the 2014 Loksabha polls, would you accept it?
Not from 'any' party. But if that party's ideologies are close to mine, I would definitely contest.
How about going back to SJP?
Never. It is a regional party. They are losing their sheen.
What do you think of the 2014 poll scenario?
Rahul is a well-meaning leader. The loud emergence of Modi will benefit Congress-UPA. The announcement itself of Modi as BJP's PM candidate came with many rumblings - starting with the Advaniji incident (Advani had resigned from all posts in the BJP), the Shatrughan Sinha outburst (Shatru had said he favoured L K Advani over Modi), the Nitish Kumar incident (Nitish moved out of the NDA, protesting Modi's many actions and statements ).
So who do you think will be our next PM? Rahul Gandhi or Narendra Modi?
Indian politics is not as simple and straight as Obama Vs Romney in the US. Out here, it's a very complex scenario which brings results contrary to expectations. But I think that the fear of the Gujarat carnage will result in huge polarisation among the minorities in favour of Congress-UPA. Let me tell you that no government can be formed without the support of Congress. Let me tell you that Congress can never become irrelevant in the scheme of things. And please note how NDA is losing states and Congress is gaining then.
What is your opinion on Narendra Modi?
At this point, I don't think we should give a definite opinion on him. But let me tell you one thing. I had gone to Gujarat when the carnage happened. Shabana Azmi, Raj Babbar and Sitaram Kesri were accompanying me. The Police Commissioner Pandey was not there for hours. We waited. And suddenly I got a call from Modi. He said: 'Why are you here? Your pro-minority stand is well known. You won't be safe here'. He didn't threaten me, but I think that reflects his state of mind. Now he says he is a Hindu Rahtravadh. I think that's disgusting. He should say he is a Bhartiya Rashtravadh.
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