You are infamously disorganised. Is that true? I am extremely forgetful and absent-minded and have got worse with age. For instance, I remember when I bought my first car, I went to a studio for recording. I forgot that the car was there and came back in an auto. In the morning, I was searching for my car and went to the police station to lodge an FIR. Fortunately, the engineer from the studio called me while I was at the police station, telling me about my leaving the car there. My motor action goes wrong. Once I was speaking on the mobile and saw a caterpillar on the curtain next to me. I wanted to throw the caterpillar out, but I threw the phone out instead. Earlier while driving, I used to smoke. Many times instead of throwing the matchstick, I would throw the matchbox. My biggest problem now is the phone. I write SMSes but don't send them. I am so irritated with my habit. I will text a musician for recording, but will not send the message. Next day, I will be sitting and waiting for him whereas he has not even got the message. I will forget faces of people I have worked with. I am constantly looking at people and scanning them and giving blank smiles. Having a manager also does not help, as I also forget to tell him what to tell others.
How did you become a music director? I am born and brought up in Kolkata. My father used to work for the railways and my mother was a school teacher. I come from a lower middle-class family. Our house had a tin roof and was just the size of one small room, which we had bifurcated into two. There was a tiny toilet outside, which did not even have water and we would get water from outside. During the rains, I remember, I would put katoris under the roof as water would seep into our house. But, I had a really happy childhood. I would go up with my dad before the rains and put an alkatra on our roof to ensure water would not come in. I recently went back after 20 years and could not believe we used to stay there. They had broken down the whole thing and I could just not stop crying. I just broke down and could not get up and even cried on the way back in the car, as flashbacks from my childhood came to me and I realised how far I had come in life. The only dissatisfaction my mom always had was that my dad had not taken up a bigger place. My dad is originally from Chittagong in Bangladesh and left everything to come and start afresh in Kolkata just before the Indo- Bangladesh war in 1972. He played the Hawaiian guitar and would teach it to the mohalla kids in our small house. Even though we had such a small place, everyday there were music classes there and even others would come to teach, so I landed up learning the tabla, music and guitar, but took a fascination to the guitar. Anyways, after finishing my graduation in Geology, I had joined MSc and was preparing for entrance tests when I saw an ad for FTII and applied. I got selected and did my sound recording and engineering there. FTII changed my life and I came closer to the film industry and moved to Mumbai. I initially shacked up with seven other friends in Malad for one year. I started getting work from my seniors at FTII and composed ad jingles and title music for TV serials. After sharing rooms with my friends for a couple of years, I bought my own first flat in Andheri in 2001 (he today owns the whole floor and it is a studio now). I used to do ads with Raju Hirani, where I met Sanjay Gadhvi. We had a whole night session of playing songs. Sanjay called me on the way back home and said I am making a film Tere Liye, where he wanted to use all the songs I had composed and sung for him that night. He introduced me to Yash Raj and I got to compose for three films for him there — Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai, Dhoom and Dhoom 2. Sanjay is a big factor in my life and really backed me and that's how I became a music director.
How did you meet your wife Smita? Her older sister wanted to become a singer and Smita, an actor. She had come with her sister for a demo to me. Even though she is 10 years younger to me, I found her judgement of music very good and was attracted to her. She would say on my face, 'I don't like this song.' I pestered her to work with me till she was looking out for acting work. We dated for four years and got married in 2007. Marriage, of course, changes your equation and she is now bringing up our two children, that is tougher than composing music. Her grouse with me is that I did not allow her to work. That is our big fight subject, apart from the fact that I don't have any time. Earlier, I used to do 20 films a year. I cut it down to eight and now want to cut it down even further. Work gives me a high and I'm totally a workaholic.
There was a time a few years back, when you were virtually branded a lifter. Did that affect you? In the beginning, I was immature and was not being advised correctly. I was listening to briefs blindly and did not have time to think. If a director would give me a tune, I would adapt it. I am a big RD Burman fan and used to feel that it is normal for all big directors to copy. Nobody was there to advise me about the changing world. I thought it was normal and everybody did it. I was also amongst the first to give credits and recreate songs, for instance Bheegi Bheegi was an adaptation of a Bengali folk song. The problem is you can't give credits without buying rights. Sometimes, the producer would promise that he would buy the rights and it had not been done. I regret it big time. That is something that does not allow me to enjoy my success today. It's like a ghost that is following you. At one time, I thought I will quit as anything I would do would be branded and there would always be this doubt whether it was copied even though it was original. After 2008, I consciously decided to not do it and, from then on, I have never done it. Professionally, I always felt low as I was not getting due respect, even though I was working so hard.
Today, most music directors have started singing their own songs even though their voices may or may not be best suited for it. How have you managed to resist that temptation? At the end of the day, the song is the main thing and it should get the best voice. I am an ordinary singer and want the best voice for the song. I don't want to spoil it, as for me the song is most important.
Bengali women are considered dominating? Is that true? Bengali men can be MCPs. I am quite a male chauvinist. I am conservative and am not open-minded. Earlier, when my wife could have acted, I did not want her to. In fact, that is her biggest angst with me and trouble I have called upon myself. Now, I want her to work to save myself. I actually think Bengali women are quite sweet.
Your strength as a music composer seems to be with emotional songs. Are you emotional? I am extremely emotional and sensitive. For instance, I am so attached to the first flat I bought (that is now his studio), that I land up spending more time there than where we live. My kids tell me, 'That is your house and this is our house.' I am most attached to my mother and my daughter. I get hurt easily, but, since I am shy, I will not give it back, but will go into my own cocoon. I will lock myself in my studio and not go home for 15 days and will be depressed. My problem is I do not share my problem with anyone. I will just work. I think pathos is natural to me and may be it helps me make sad songs. I am a weak person and have high temper. I need a lot of love. I work best when I get a lot of love. Anurag Basu, Imtiaz Ali, Ayan Mukerji and Milan Luthria have given a lot of love to me. If my experience is good with a director, I also get attached to him emotionally.
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